Equipoise

Fuck Fuck Fuck FUCK!!! shit my whole fucking life!! Shit it!! >:(

Am I really that DISGUSTING?? Do you really think I am NOT WORTHY OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP?? Do you think I wouldnt know? Am I really such a fool??

To choose you as a friend, now I feel like a fool!! >:(

Dont want this anymore!! Im going to forget EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!! I’ve been through too much because of you!! Hanging on to a loose thread for hope but now I know it finally snapped! I wont ask to be your friend anymore!

For the rest of my life, I’ll show you what you’re missing!! I’ll make you REGRET what you did to me!!

I am in TOO MUCH PAIN!! Losing friends is not something I want to experience! I am a very friendly person. Why dont people get that?? T_T

This makes me wish “I want to die right now”.

Oooohhh!! I really want that!! Really really want to live out my dreams!! I wish I dont get my expectations to high! It’ll really destroy myself. Suddenly when I have all the confidence, that’s when things dont go my way. This is an opportunity of a lifetime for me! And I want to give my 110% best!

I must say that there LOTS of people out there who are FAR GREATER than me. But I shouldnt care about them, do they care about me? No, right?? So why should I worry myself about them?? Im entering this audition for myself to pursue my dream! ^^

Now it’s giving me inspiration to make a song tomorrow! Maybe I would! Goodnight!! ^^

Bad mood gone.

Good mood back.

Soon I’ll be able to forgive myself! ^^

I wonder.. If my family and I migrated to the US instead of Qatar, would I be different to what I am now? I never had an American dream but I am feeling that one day I’ll get that dream. Would I want to have that dream? Seriously speaking, I dont want an American Dream. Nope, dont want it. I dont know why.. It doesnt click for me.

Qatar did me good. I learned a lot about myself. Quite shocking to know that I can play guitar, compose poetry, etc etc.

There are lots more things I need to know but Im afraid that it is not in Qatar where I’ll learn those. Hopefully, not in America too. I am betting I’ll learn more of myself in a country I am in love with. I wish I know where so I could mark it in my map. But sadly, I dont know where. T_T hope I can get a sign where that next destination for me. ^^

Not in the mood to write a long post in Tumblr… Things said made me in a bad mood.

Everybody has it.

Everybody goes through it.

Everybody experienced it.

Before I used to think that only women has major issues with mood swings. But I came to realize that even men has it. Really.

This past few months my family and I are like on board a rollercoaster ride in a carnival. We go up then go down then go round and round because of these mood swings.

IT IS IRRITATING!!

I dont want to live 2 more years of my life with this on-going mood swings. Even my bubbly “meggielots” ego is giving up. Cassidy, doesnt care about family she only cares about passion. And right now I am typing as Megan. I had enough of the constant fights and shouts and yells.

I WANT TO PUT AN END TO THIS!!

Seriously, if this continues on, Megan & Meggielots & Cassidy will all vanish the planet Earth. (I dont believe in Heaven, Hell, or the after life because Im an Atheist) And I dont want that to happen. I still havent reached my goals and lived up my dreams. I ain’t leaving this planet without accomplishing everything I desire. I am determined to be successful until I take my last breath.

-Megan

Hello, this is Meggie-Lots! xD

That means Lots of Meggie! I am the 3rd ego of Megan and the 2nd ego is Cassidy… ^^

Unlike Cassidy, I am just full of Megan. You can say that in this blog I am a narcissist. Cassidy is the opposite of Megan while Meggie-Lots is just an ego full of Megan.. ^^

Are you getting me already? hahaha!! xD

well to stop confusing you.. This will be Goodbye! ^^